MARTIN JOHNSON
Some of you will remember a Seventies television sitcom in which the title character, Reggie Perrin, opens a shop called Grot, selling items advertised in the window to be “guaranteed useless.”
Stuff like pea-less whistles, salt and pepper cruets without holes, and tennis rackets without strings. To which, were you the scriptwriter for a modern-day remake, you could immediately add two tickets for the fifth day of a Test match.
The fifth day simply doesn’t happen any more, not unless there is rain (and often not even then) or one side is so dominant th...
