Can you spot your captain on this list of quintessential skippers from the club game?
The Dictator
A REAL taskmaster. He demands 110 per cent from everyone – trying your best simply isn’t good enough.
You tried to explain to him that 110 per cent isn’t mathematically possible and a bit clichéd but he sent you home from nets and dropped you to the thirds. He shouted at your 14-year-old for dropping a catch and made him cry.
Your scorer quit after a dispute about the use of different coloured pens. You’ve had enough. Is that the smell of mutiny in the air? This is your HMS Bounty. You pluck up the courage. You confront your oppressive leader. You fail miserably and are now looking for a new club.
The Old Head
He’s seen it all before. He was playing cricket long before you were born and his career has coincided with many events in British history. He’s played under the reign of three female prime ministers; he was playing before the EU even existed.
He refuses to toss up with a twopound coin because: “They weren’t around when I was a lad.” He doesn’t trust electronic scoreboards. He says he watched the last two coronations. He claims he fought in the war. But which?
The Prodigy
He’s only 17 but he’s a natural born leader. He was head boy at school, captained the county under 15s and has a ridiculous amount of Instagram followers. His bowling changes are inspired, his tactical nous unrivaled. You hate him a little bit, don’t you? He’s learning to drive in his dad’s brand new Tesla while you’re stuck getting lifts after your R Reg Corsa conked out over the bank holiday weekend.
You’re stressing about paying your rent on time and what to get your partner for their birthday while all he has to worry about is submitting coursework and replying to messages on Snapchat. You begrudgingly admire his leadership but began to doubt him that time he spent the entire tea-break on the outfield learning a new TikTok dance.
The Laidback Leader
She’s totally chill and comes across as the most blasé person on earth. She rocks up in flip-flops, regardless of the weather, and could get out for one or 100 and you’d never be able to tell the difference. The most animated you’ve ever seen her was when she found out she’d got tickets to Eurovision.
